Okay, bash me because this is completely irrelevant to the site. But nevertheless this has currently hit me harder than a 98 mph baseball. So here we go…

I was talking to my friend on the phone a couple weeks ago about the possibility of a Zelda movie. He happens to be a giant fan of the game, and he is literally stuck to the series like gum-on-desk.I’mhalf asleep, trying to muster up any way to keep myself awake. After he mentions how cool the idea would be, I woke up and snickered. A Zelda movie? That’s completely absurd! My friend didn’t think so, and he left me the night to ponder about this one.

Coincidently, IGN posted a cast spoof of a possible Zelda movie a couple of months ago. I bursted out in laughter when they came up with Orlando Bloom for the role of Link. They posted a picture of him as Legolas from the Lord of the Rings trilogy. As much as I liked his character in the film, I dismissed him right away. I can’t figure out the rest of the make-up crew off the top of my head, but I’m sure it was a crowd of wanabees.

So you heard my backstory. I don’t think Zelda can be a movie, or a film in any way. I’m going to list my top reasons why:

Who Will Play the Protagonist, Link?

This is the biggest concern of many people when it actually comes to filming. Who is the right actor, will he fit the role, does he have potential. Off the top of my head…I can’t think of anyone. Orlando Bloom doesn’t cut it, because in my opinion, he is too old. I don’t think Link drinks from the Fountain of Youth, I’m sure he is not older than 20-25.

Link doesn’t even talk

This is a given! No one has ever heard Link talk. And before you say,”Of course he does, everytime he fights, you hear noises.”…don’t. I recall we live in the 20th century, I don’t suppose we can still communicate with grunting and gasping. I can never picture the muted protagonist with a voice, I honestly can’t. And I can’t even tell his ethic backround. Japan loves to toy around with different cultures, which is awesome. But I’m not sure if Link is Japanese, European, or whatever the case maybe.

We can’t even get the fundamentals of game-to-movies correct

Mortal Kombat made a move in the Film Industry when they released a film adaption of the game. I actually found them to be suprisingly excellent. But let’s flash forward a couple years, games-to-moves just don’t work anymore! Here’s a list of some that has recently come out:

Silent Hill, House of the Dead, Resident Evil, Doom, Blood Rayne

I’ve watched every single one except for Blood Rayne. My friend gave me a copy of BR, but I thought I would lose all my sanity watching five minutes of that trash. And you know what all these movies have in common? They suck. They don’t follow the original game concept/story. Actors/Actress don’t work out for the roles. Directors avoid any possible way to resemble the game at all.

What will happen if a Zelda movie were to come out? According to the amount of trash we’ve seen lately, I don’t think we can rest with a optimistic view on this one.

The story is too large to fit in a movie

I can’t stress it enough to my friend about how the game will be formated onto a motion picture. We’ve seen a heck-of-a-lot from this series, and I pay my respects for that. But I have to say it right now; Zelda’s storyline isn’t linear enough to fit in a movie. While I really never pay attention to the series, this is a toasty old fact. Which game will be the top storyline for the move? Or will the director create an all original concept? But that’s what makes the movies terrible to begin with. The minute they decide to step off the yellow brick road, all chaos breaks lose. From then on, everything starts to change. Bbbbbadddddddd!

Cause controversy among avid fans

This is the last and formost important factor when it comes to these game-to-move adaptions. I happen to be a Resident Evil fanatic, I can’t get enough of the series. But the minute I saw the two movies (based on the game), I could hold back on my criticism and tears. The Legend of Zelda series holds larger fanbased audience than Resident Evil, and what will happen if the movie goes wrong. The ticket sales will sky rocket for sure, but where will the fans be after the failure? On the internet, on the phone, in front of the directors house! Complaining, criticising, and fighting against this movie.

So what if the movie is liked in some way? Some people will love it, and some people will hate it. You can’t satisfy everyone in this world, that’s what you should know by now. I just don’t think this is a good idea on Nintendo’s take. Now that you’ve searched through my bag of gummy bears, what do you think of a Zelda movie? Can it work? Or will it only increase the chances of controversy among fans.

Part 2: What has happened to the Metroid Movie?